The ways of the soft, feminine woman
5 things and practices that helps me feel the most feminine
Dear princesses,
Every now and again, I catch myself saying things like ( right now, I feel very feminine, I feel happy) and then there are times when the feeling is ( I really do not feel feminine right now ) And being who I am, I had to sit with myself the other day and really think about these moments. I wanted to better understand the times when I am in my most feminine and what situations where I wasn’t at all.
I figured it out and I thought to share, maybe these steps will feel validating to you as well.
Having raw masculinity in my life :
You may have heard this before, but if you haven't, I will tell you. To feel the most feminine, one needs to be around the opposite energy and that is masculinity. having or being around a man who embodies manly energy, could so easily, put you right into your feminine bubble.
I watched a reel the other day, of this girl illustrating how she behaves around men with masculine energy, in comparison to how she switches and behaves around men with feminine energy. I laughed at the reel but it was totally relatable.
As you now know, every relationship has its own dynamics. Contrary to what Modern society may try to sell, there is no such thing as ( we are equals ) if you pay close attention to the couples you know, you would easily spot who captains the boat in that relationship. Wether it is the woman or the man, one must lead and the other, who now takes on the feminine role, will follow.
That’s said, when I feel like I have a good leader in my life, a guide and a safe, reliable, muscle haha, I could count on, I tend to retreat into my feminine bubble, in trust. The feeling that I usually feel here, is like floating in the skies, going along with the ride, not having to make any difficult decisions, It is pure bliss.
The opposite feeling arises when around men who embody feminine energy. The times when I had to go out on dates, I liked to put my dates on a little test, in other to figure out his dominance or lack thereof. Say we were lost, which happens often as there are a million restaurants in Dubai, I keep my mouth shut, giving no assistance what’s so ever, even if we were lost and I knew the way. If he asks me for directions, girls, it’s a nope for me.
However, if a date figures it out for himself or asks a security guard for directions and then leads me to the right path, then its usually a good sign, sounds so simple but hey, it works.
feminine energy is flowing energy, it glides like the waves at sea, gracefully, almost unintentionally, while making its presence felt in the same rhythm
My Grooming :
whew, now, when I say grooming, I start from taking care of the hair on my head, down to my nail care. Recently, after months of using Gel nail polishes, I noticed my nails were getting weaker and would break easily. so, I decided to give them a rest and try using ordinary polishes instead. The result? not long after I finish polishing my nails, the color starts to peel off. resulting to me hiding my nails from the man in my life and feeling less put together and away from my feminine bubble. Needless to say, I went a few days without color and have since swore to just never use ordinary polish anymore. When my nails are done right, I feel so dainty and girly… haha.
The same goes for hair care and skin care. As African, we've been lucky to be given while delicate, a hair that is able to accommodate a lot of diverse action. And because I enjoy playing dress up, I love the idea of wigs and extensions etc. But lately I have been putting a lot of my attention into my 4c hair as well. Because, we know that the extensions do come off and when they do, it feels nice to know that you have a healthy lock of hair on your head as well. I also think that natural hair brings out a certain glow and radiance from a woman. so yes, I do feel very feminine when I care for and style my own hair. Truth be told, I feel like I spend my entire life taking care of myself. Being a girl is effort and whenever I neglect any step for while, I start to feel un-feminine and that, is not a feeling I let linger for too long.
Feminine grooming points :
Hair care > weekly
Nail care > every two weeks
Facials > once a month
Lash extensions > every two weeks
Moisturise > after every shower
Exfoliate > at least three days a week
Hair removal > waxing, shaving, laser
The list goes on but these are the main points.
Fitness :
Some might argue and say girly girls do not work out, but I of course do not agree, we are not just women, we are princesses, and princesses, like to look and feel their best. Good health, energy, and vitality are linked to how much work you put into your physical fitness. I lol when I meet women who aren’t taking care of themselves talking about attracting high quality men. But that’s a topic for another day.
Truth is, there are certain exercises, that even if you aren’t the most sporty girl, you can enjoy, that helps keep you feminine, soft, healthy and limber.
I didn’t use to lift weights until a few months ago, while I do not feel the most girly when I lift, I love the way it trains certain parts of my body to look. I lift along side pilates and yoga exercises, which I can tell you are much more enjoyable, as the movement's and rhythm are much more womanly. Pilates, as you may or may not know, was created at first for ballet dancers. Ballet, which is the most graceful and feminine dance of all time.
Not only will fitness give you a more desirable form, it also gives a healthier glowing skin, research on this and thank me later.
Listening to soft songs, watching the right movies and reading the right books
In 2017, someone, introduced me to the artist called Lana del rey, I didn’t get her at first because I was too young. but came a few years later, she and her genre is all I listen to. the emotion in her siren like voice, the stories of love lost and found, the simplicity in her feminine style… oh lord I simply adore. Her songs are what I turn to, when I feel as if my life isn’t or is loosing its softness. I go to Lana, I let myself connect to her vulnerability, her depth and her feelings.
Same goes for movies I watch, frankly, I tend to gravitate towards comedy and period dramas, if you ever heard me speak, you’ll understand. It is all thanks to movies like Downton abby and the crown lol. movies that have a lot of dress up, drama, women who feel, are my go-to. And this have influenced my reality in so many ways. Books as well, what are you reading? usually, I do romance novels. But mr x lately have influenced me into reading more serious books. But that , doesn’t stop me from choosing books that has to do it female issues and female self development genres.
Allowing myself to feel or vulnerability :
When I was an annoying teenager, whenever I found my mum in her feelings, I got annoyed. why does she have to be so emotional about everything? I thought. why can’t she be tough like me? and I was, strong headed and independently going through life that way. until I started my self development journey, learning about femininity and masculinity, understanding better who I was and allowing myself to accept the facts of who I am.
learning to let go and allowing myself the chance to be vulnerable, in the right moments. To feel, to be open, to saying my truths, to laugh when I felt like it, to be sad and to cry without holding back. To share my thoughts and to listen, allowing myself to be guided, to live in the moment, experience moments as they happen without traveling in my thoughts.
The thought of vulnerability can be scary sometimes, I know. We mostly go through life guarding ourselves, as a form of defence mechanism, and I get it. Allowing myself vulnerability has invited some unnecessary personalities into my life but it has also attracted some beautiful personalities and experience as well. To be a woman, is to feel strong enough to let go, In the right moments.
Vulnerability do not make you weak, it makes you soft, welcoming and attractive. A few ways to connect to your vulnerable side is to
practice compassion, do not turn a blind eye to someone in need.
be honest with the man in your life always
talk about your feelings
ask for help if needed
These are a few ways and practices that helps me get into my feminine bubble. Do you relate to any of these?